Starting Over

Well, talk about a hard reset…Very abrupt was my transition from Switzerland to Johnson City, Tennessee, or at least it felt that way. It’s my own fault, really, as I have a tendency to neglect the art of really processing anything until it happens. Then I feel shocked and caught off-guard at the last second. I tend to be terrible at goodbyes, in particular, and usually look them with a bit of regret, wishing I could have said something or behaved better. This goodbye was particularly difficult for me and the transition particularly jarring, as I moved to a totally new state that I’ve never even spent any time in, not knowing a single soul but my brother here. 2020 is also a particularly interesting time to re-enter American society after being away from it for a couple of years. The culture is more bizarre and more polarized than I’ve ever known in to be. Coming in, I felt very disconnected.

There is something a bit exciting about the prospect of starting over in a totally new place with no money, no friends, and very few assets. The fresh start and clean slate do appeal to the romantic and the adventurer in me. Endless opportunities, big and small, enter into the creative mind.

It is in these times of extreme transition and change that we are challenged to look inwards and find what we rely on for a sense of stability and even a sense of self. Living the life that I have, I’ve realized that I cannot really put my identity in any one person. Each person we meet gets a piece of our story—the piece that they are in. This piece isn’t just a sequence of events but also who we are during that time. It is our state of being; where we are in our personal journey, the struggles we go through, the strengths we have taken out of struggles passed, etc…They may have an idea of what was before, but it will be based on what we tell them or what they have heard. Others hold those pieces of the past—people who no longer know exactly who we are today. This goes with roles as well. Some know us only as their children, their siblings, there leaders, their co-workers, or their peers. No one person holds every piece of us. This core self is what’s found in and by our spirit and the spirit of God. That’s what we have to lean on when nobody is holding the pieces of who we are today and when we are put in a place we don’t know.

I am here for a purpose, of course—to attend university and finish my degree in Psychology. Not even a year ago, I decided to come back to the States for school, but I had no idea where to go. Never would I have guessed that it would be here, but I am surprised, myself, at how much I like the area.

I wasn’t sure if I would care for it, growing up as a California girl. The place truly has a charm of its own, surrounded by beautiful green forests and mountains, there are endless outdoor activities. The town has a sort of retro, all-American vibe to it. I’m not sure if it’s intentional or just that they are incredibly behind, but either way I’m here for it. There are several drive-in movie theaters, a roller-skating rink, an 80s style arcade, vinyl record stores, and a local burger/pizza place everyone loves.

There are more young people around than there were where I grew up and it shows, as the more modern side of Johnson city is creative and innovative, with small, young businesses. There are a few great coffee shops and storefronts. There is even an old service station converted into a beautiful little flower shop.

I have been blessed beyond what I could have expected. As empty as my wallet has been, I have been provided for by God, who has met not just my basic needs, but has somehow granted me my first choice in many things. I got a car I love right off the bat (my expectations were very low,) the apartment that was on the very top of my preference list, and a job at a place I actually enjoy.

I am working really hard and my days are quite full, for the most part, but I'm so grateful to be where I'm at and moving towards my goals that I don't mind it. I'm happy with where I'm at.

Thanks for reading! -- Emily Kathey