Humility and Self Love

Humility and self love are both healthy and do not conflict. People often confuse self loathing with humility and self love with pride or arrogance, but I believe that humility and self love can and should coexist and correlate. During my time in Perth, my DTS leader, Caleb Brownhill, described humility to me in a way that I had never thought of it before. He described it as seeing yourself in an honest light, as you really are. He said that pride is like a pendulum, swinging back and forth between inferior pride and superior pride. One moment it is "I am the worst. I can't stand myself," and then, to compensate, there comes judgement: "Well at least I'm not like that person...actually I'm not too bad...More people should be like me!" Then as soon as we see someone "better" and/or feel insecure, it swings back to feelings of inferiority again. It has to do with lack of identity and comparison to others.

I've defined love before as seeing people through the eyes of God, as who he created them to be, placing that value on them. That applies to one's self as well. Scripture says to love others as you love yourself. Well if you can't even love yourself, I don't know if you can get very far loving others. See, if we do not love ourselves, and if we constantly put ourselves down, then we allow insecurity to grow, which leads to pride and bitterness, in the end. It is difficult to genuinely celebrate someone for their achievements and for who they are if we are jealous or spiteful towards them, due to our own insecurities and self loathing. We will never be able to fully achieve what we are capable of, through Christ, if we don't understand the value he places on us. If the very creator himself was willing to do what he did to save us, then it dishonors him to say that he has made a mistake in doing so, or to even display an attitude that may reflect such a notion. It isn't fair to him and it isn't fair to yourself to wonder how much better your life would have been if only you were more charismatic or had a prettier face or whatever. In western culture today, it is really challenging to have a healthy view of one's self, regarding both physical traits and personality traits. It is easy to allow a negative self image to creep in, but it is important to remember that if we ever hear/have a thought about something that is harsh, cruel, or derogatory, it is not from God.

While there are admittedly plenty of areas we could work on, as a generation, I do feel that people my age are pushing towards more acceptance in variety and a broader idea of what physical beauty means. My hope is that as more of the millennial/gen x people get into influencial roles in entertainment, media, and marketing, we will create a world in which our children may have a better chance of growing up with confidence and security. For now though, it is honestly difficult, and can take extremely intentional steps. I’ve had images of the “perfect body” shoved down my throat from the moment I had access to Cartoons and Barbie dolls. No matter how often you are told “you’re beautiful the way you are,” by those that you love, it can be hard to believe it when the world would have you believe otherwise. There is an idea that your value is based on your physical attractiveness and that your physical attractiveness is based on how well you fit certain criteria. This goes for men and women. In all honesty, though, who is it that gets to decide what is universally beautiful? What are our arbitrary, temporary concepts of attractiveness based on? They change, as years go by, and they are different, based on cultural expectations. You were created intentionally, and you are deeply loved as you are.

The truth is that everyone is unique and has something to contribute to the world. As well as this, everyone has weak areas. Becoming introspective and aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can be really hard, which is why I believe young people are so easily caught up in things like personality tests and even astrology, striving for something/someone to tell us who we are. Sure, the insight of others is helpful and even necessary at times, but we shouldn't rely on that for a sense of security or identity. Another problem that also arises is when people begin to consider certain traits more valuable than others, which leads to either inferior or superior pride. One may think to themselves "Introverts are smarter/more thoughtful than extroverts," or "Spur of the moment people are more fun and interesting than planners." These are just as damaging as thoughts like "Thin is the best build" or "tall people are more attractive than short people." These ideas are false and support the notion that a person cannot have a balanced personality. More than we need to identify exactly what personality "type" we are all the time, hoping for some sense of affirmation, I think we just need to focus on trying to follow Christ and acting in a way that we do naturally and comfortably. He has designed each person with different characteristics of himself, which will show themselves naturally if we are living in relationship with him and pursuing righteousness. He will reveal these things to you either directly or through the words of others. He will do this to encourage you and to help with a healthy level of introspection, but we need to be willing to accept what he says, humbly, but confidently. This goes with correction as well, but again, it will never be cruel or an attack on something that isn't sinful.

The diversity of humanity is beautiful and reflects the complexity of this universe and the one who created it--even in ways that we may not always consider. When we think of the character of God, often characteristics such as kindness, strength, compassion, and honesty come to mind, which are absolutely aspects of who he is. But so is creativity. So is humor. So are intellect, courage, boldness and gentleness. Sometimes he is loud and sometimes he is quiet. All of these things and more are within the realm of Godliness. He has a full range of emotions and personality traits. He loves us with the ones that he has given to us, in the degree that he has done so.

This is a broad topic, and one that I could talk about for ages, but I will refrain. I hate how much darkness is in the world. I hate how much depression, self harm, and suicide there is, and I hate the misrepresentations of the true church that would suggest that it contributes to the problem. Anyone who says/does hateful or cruel things is not representing the character of Christ, and anyone who claims to be doing so in his name is a liar. So don't let anyone else's hate for themselves and/or for others corrupt you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! If we can continue to lift one another up, I think we will see a change in how we view ourselves.

#health #living #spiritual #beauty