What is Love?

Love is a word that is thrown around a lot today, without necessarily thinking deeply about what it actually means. Even when it is used sincerely, it can be difficult to pin down precisely what it means. Let's take a deeper look at what it is and what it is not.

There are, of course, different types of love, which are, unfortunately, not accounted for in the English language. We use the same word for the love that we have for our siblings, parents, children, friends, significant others, and even God, even though we know that those are all very different types of relationships. I do, however, believe that the core of love is the same in all of these contexts. First, however, I'm going to cover what love is not; namely, what is often mistaken for love.

Love is not lust or infatuation. Sexual desire and even the act of sex itself often have nothing to do with how you feel/think about a person. The body is not the person, but the vessel that contains them. Naturally, sex is a big part of a committed, loving relationship, Biblically, within marriage. But that is not lust, nor is it what defines love. It is, in fact, a byproduct of love, and has a very specific intended purpose, but that's not what this post is about, so I'll move on.

Love is not liking or enjoying a person. Just because you enjoy someone's company does not mean that you love them, and just because you love someone does not mean that you enjoy their company. If I value someone based solely on their ability to make me laugh, I do not care about who they are as a person. If I spend time with a person or invest in them for my own benefit, that is not love. At the same time, I can love someone without liking them, which I'll get back to shortly.

Love is not a feeling. Can you feel it? Yes. Always? No. Emotions are temporary and fleeting, but love is not; not in it's true sense, anyway, which is why it is even possible to "love everyone" in the way that the Lord commands us to.

God, in all of his complexity and love, fulfills all of the relational roles that are demonstrated to us by fellow humans. In a healthy relationship with the Lord, he is our king, parent, sibling, friend, and the lover of our soul. He will never be anything less, and he will always be so much more. The relationships we have on earth are reflections of the love of the creator, who made the ultimate sacrifice for us, and who loves us unconditionally.

The way I see it, love is about the way that we view people, spiritually. To love someone is to see them through the eyes of God; to see all of the beauty and the value that is in them. When we see people as God does, we are more inclined to treat them as he does, putting their needs first. Even if someone gets on our nerves, and we see their flaws, we need to understand how precious they are, and it is always good to make a conscious effort to see the positive aspects of their personality--to see our differences as strengths. For instance, you may think a person is loud and obnoxious, and while, sure, maybe they could learn to tone it down sometimes, that assertiveness or outgoing nature could be really useful for God's kingdom and purpose. It may even be an area that you could improve on! In this way, we can love all people; even strangers.

Meanwhile, if you are very close/fond of a person, loving them does not always mean being "nice" to them. God is not always "nice." He gives us what we need, not always what we want. If we see someone we love doing something harmful to themselves or to others (often it is both) and we are in a position of influence in their life, it is sometimes necessary to confront them and to hold them accountable. Now, we need to have discernment about when and how to do so, but if we are not, in any circumstances, willing to confront them, then we cannot profess to love them. They should be worth the discomfort or even the risk of rejection. Often, however, you may be surprised at how well the seemingly difficult conversations can be. Now, this goes both ways. We need to be just as willing to accept correction as we are to give it out.

The Bible is, in it's entirety, a story of love. Our very existence depends on it. That may sound sappy, but it's true. Everyone is loved by God, and it is his desire that we all love one another. Sometimes, I think, we believe that we have loved people when we have not. Sometimes we hold bitterness in our hearts against people, without even realizing it. This is why it is so good to take times to stop in meditation, searching our hearts. Often it is difficult to love people--to see them as the Lord does, and in those times we need to consciously ask him, "Lord, what do you see in this person? Give me your eyes and your heart." This is part of what it means, I think, to take up your cross and to follow him. Love is amazing, but it can be difficult and it can be painful. God's eyes have seen a lot of horrible things, but they remain loving. His heart has been broken many times, but it remains soft. That is love.

#spiritual #living #bible