12 Days in Turkey: I AM

Our twelve days in Turkey were amazing. It is such a beautiful country with a very unique culture, and I learned so much throughout the duration of our time there.

We spent a day and a half in Istanbul, and definitely made the most of my time there. I spent the evening we arrived on walking around the local market and going to see the Blue Mosque. The next morning, I went to the Grand Bazaar, which was honestly super cool but very overwhelming, and I ate an ungodly amount of Turkish Delight, which I thought I didn’t like. It turns out that I do, in fact, like it very much. After getting a bit lost, walking for like a mile, in search of food, and eating a very humble meal on a rooftop, accessed via sketchy dark elevator that made me think that we were all walking into a human slaughterhouse, a few of us went to the Hagia Sophia. It was stunningly beautiful building. Once a Christian Cathedral, established by the Roman Empire Constantine, it was later converted into a Muslim Mosque. If counting it as a Cathedral, it is actually the second largest in the world. It has unique designs, which include elaborate mosaics of gold on the walls and big paintings on the ceiling of what I like to think are Seraphim; a feat that not many artists attempt to take on, especially on such a scale.

After that, a big group of us found this guy who said we could go out on his boats at sunset for a very reasonable price, and that was actually very fun! (It sounds sketchier than it was). Then we took an Uber (much more exciting than Ubers in the States. There are black lights and everything) and we went downtown into the more modern urban part of the city, for dinner.

After Istanbul, we spent ten days in Kusadasi, a lovely beach town, where I took a lot of walks and had my first Turkish bath, which was a very unique experience. On one of our last days, we went to see the ruins of Ephesus, which is an impressive archaeological site. I could really see the beauty in it; of what it once was, during the Roman era. I could imagine walking through the city that would have provided much more shade than it does now. I could hear the sounds of the rushing water from the many fountains and the raised voices of men engaged in political and philosophical debates. Walking through the gate of Hercules, I could see the bustling shops around me, and beyond, the mounts on either side of the grand city, silently above it all. The theater, still mostly intact, was huge, and carried even the smallest sounds very far. I imagined the entire place filled to the brim with people—the roaring sound of thunderous applause that probably would have been heard from outside of the city. It was all once right up on the water that has since receded, and it was surrounded by guard towers, from which the arrows of skilled archers would strike any enemies. Just outside of the city was the grand and beautiful Temple of Artemis; now a mere heap of rocks, with heap being a generous term. I could understand why Paul would spend three years in ministry here; it was a fascinating city with an intense spiritual environment.

The museum was full of beautiful artwork, and I have become overly familiar with old statues, recognizing the stone faces of several Roman Emperors.

While in Kusadasi, we finished our study in 1st and 2nd Kings and studied the book of Ephesians. Through these books, I had some really incredible revelations that have significantly altered the way that I view God, the Bible, and myself.

While 1st and 2nd Kings is an extremely intense study, I am so glad we did it. otherwise, I don’t think I ever would have figured out the timeline or any of what was going on in those books. Through them, as well, the Lord revealed to me something very important. Bear with me, because this one is a bit difficult:

I have never really been a very justice driven person and the Old Testament has always been really difficult for me to read and accept, as it is for most people. In the past, I really struggled with the judgement of God, usually feeling that it was too harsh and that it didn’t line up with the doctrine of the New Testament; that God was not consistent in his character. But all of this is based on a certain assumption; that I am a perfectly accurate judge of the scale of good and evil, and that people are entitled to mercy, which defies the very definition of mercy in and of itself. The thing is, God does not have to be merciful to be good, as God encompasses all that is good and no good exists outside of him. Clearly, justice is a fundamental aspect of goodness, and thus it is perfectly fair for him to cast judgement according to it. In fact, even I he was not merciful at all, he would be equally holy and worthy of praise. We tend to think that judgement is out of character and unexpected from an all-powerful and loving God, but that’s not true. What is truly unexpected from an all-powerful and loving God is that he would actually go as above and beyond as he has. What is unexpected is a God with a love so wild—so ferocious, so passionate—that he would sacrifice it all with reckless abandon. That he would find a way to flip the very universe around—the very fate that we were condemned to. Out of mercy, he would fulfill the law through himself; through the pain and the sacrifice that is the Christ, because the righteousness of justice was not enough for him. The story of the gospel, and thus the story of the entire Bible is not about God doing the right thing, but it is about him doing the unimaginably loving thing!

With this perspective, we have a new understanding of the times before Christ, and the weight of what he did. With this perspective, we also have no right to be anything but merciful and loving to one another.

And through several of the books we read (we read ten in one day, writing summaries on all of them at one point, by the way) I really began to better grasp the name of our God, YAHWEH—I AM, and what it actually means. In a culture in which humans’ knowledge of a god could grant them power over them, and in which a god, in human form, would be forced the reveal their identity when asked, he does not. He would not give his name to Jacob when Jacob demanded it. In his own time, out of love, he gives his name to Moses: I AM. Throughout the entire history of the Israelites, he continues to reveal himself to them, as the one and only I AM, who is infinitely loving, infinitely powerful, and cannot be controlled. Even in the full knowledge of his name, they could not manipulate him. I AM was all that they could ever need, as he has dominion over all things, being what was, what is, and what always will be. He is I AM.

Jesus reveals himself so clearly as the manifestation of this, as the answer to so many prophesies from the Old Testament, that are incredibly specific. He actually makes so many blatant references to it that I somehow never even noticed before (read John 8:58, it will blow your mind.) When he is brought before Pilot, who is told that he is proclaiming himself as God, Pilate becomes afraid, and pulls him aside, privately, to ask him about his identity. He expects that if the man is, in fact, a god, he will be forced to reveal himself, by name. Jesus does not, and Pilate, once again, turns him over to the people.

There is so much more to the word that we have been in, but those are just a couple of broad concepts that really stood out to me. We read a LOT of books in Turkey and processed a lot of information.

We are now in Greece, which I will write about very soon, as we only have a few days here before heading to Rome.

Daily, I am reminded of how surreal this whole experience is and what a privilege it is to be able to live it out. I am so filled with joy and loving my life!

You can always see more pictures and stories on my Instagram account: @elvishem

Thank you for reading!

-- Emily Kathey

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